The Art of Letting Go -Part I

I learned a very important lesson this week. I wouldn’t have believed it until things started happening, falling into place. I had to tie everything back to my decision weeks ago, to let go of the things that weren’t good for me. Big things, little things, anything that weighed me down instead of lifting me up. Life has enough stresses, enough pitfalls and disappointments – I didn’t have to be manufacturing more on my own!

Weeks ago, I decided to detoxify my life. It had just become way too cluttered for me – I felt like I was in the middle of a painting with no theme, just spots and swirls of color, made up of people, places and things that didn’t need to be there. It started out when I decided that this year, I would focus on building my brand. Who was I? What did I stand for? What was I passionate about?

And to my surprise, despite having all the answers, things stood in the way of really showing my true self.

I love to shop, love fashion, love to try out different styles and products –

ACTION PLAN:  No brainer. I just need more time to do more of this.

I love pork fat. And rice. And eat gummy bears for lunch. Sometimes, I’ll chew on a beef jerky during a meeting. And then run to Starbucks to get a hard boiled egg. Bad, I know. I’m Filipino, so I can’t live a single minute without rice. I’m the one at a Gramercy restaurant in NY asking for a side of rice.

ACTION PLAN:  I do Juicing every so often to clean up my insides. It makes me feel lighter and more energetic. There’s a great juice plan now that incorporates juicing with soups. I’m trying it out this week. No more meatballs from the Soho House, at least until I complete this program.

I’m loyal to a fault, and I value the friendships I’ve made. I invest in these friendships. I understand why some Hollywood couples swear against dating someone in the same business. When you are friends with people in the same line of work, sometimes, it becomes more of a competition for both of you. BUT, their love for you is what makes the difference. If they love you enough, they are happy for your success.  It’s human nature – success changes people. But love and friendship shouldn’t change with the tide. If it does, then you shouldn’t be calling them a FRIEND.

ACTION PLAN:  Move on, you have other friends. And even if you didn’t, you’re a better friend to yourself than anyone else. Fall in love with yourself because you’re awesome.

I am an avid runner. I love to sweat, used to run races each year, go crazy over new playlists, Nike challenges, Pilates and Yoga. When my life changed two years ago, I started to smoke. Mind you, I don’t smell like smoke because I only do it socially. I hate the smell, I brush my teeth and wash my hair like I’ve had dirty sex or something.  And I was pretty smug about being able to run 5 miles without missing a beat, despite smoking the night or even hour before. I’ve been so social in the past two years that I have enough toxins circling my body to justify an intervention.

ACTION PLAN:  May 1st – COLD TURKEY!  If you catch me, call me out! Besides I need to look good for my Miami launch. The current styles are VERY unforgiving about back fat.

I’ve been disappointed and angry about a few things. For one, ITL didn’t really get into as many hands as I would have wanted. More importantly, I wished for things that couldn’t happen, even if I worked my ass off trying to get there. Folks, it isn’t fun being ignored by the big bloggers despite seeing your fans tag your name on Facebook at least a few times a day suggesting they read your book. They skim over my name like it was nothing. But even more important than that, I tried so hard to make something work out in my favor, spent two years focusing on it…and at the end of the day, it wasn’t meant to happen. Because of this, I totally glossed over the fact that I’d been promoted at work, been recognized, risen up to the top of my game and career. I forgot that I had a family who loved me, I had everything I could ever want, and yet, I wanted something I couldn’t have.

ACTION PLAN:   W  A  L  K      A  W A Y.  Something happened last month and just this week to show me that the right people will enter your life at the right time.

I love to help people, I love to give back, take people along on my successes. I love being a person of color, culture and diversity. I love being a woman, a strong one. I love speaking my mind, connecting with people and helping those who work hard and just need one little opportunity. One little break.

ACTION PLAN:   I’ve applied for a few board positions in Not For Profit groups. It will take so much of my time but when you love doing what you do, time and effort means nothing.

In the next few weeks, I’ll be posting my progress as I work on detoxifying my life. There’s no way it’s going to go perfectly. They say that an addiction takes many relapses before you hit rock bottom and decide to turn away once and for all. Lucky for me, I think I’ve hit it in most of these, but you’ll never know. Someone or something can come knocking and I’ll be back to where I started!

Keeping my fingers crossed.

The lesson, oh yeah, let me get back to that. The lesson in all this is that once you let go of things that are weighing you down, you open yourself up to good things. And they do happen, these good things. You’ll just have to wait until my next blog post.

 

3 Comments

  1. Terrijo Montgomery

    Thank you. You wrote what the little voices in my head have been telling me for a while. I’m doing that too. Cleaning out and moving on. Good luck on your journey, Half the battle is knowing it’s time to do it!!

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